How Self-Esteem Develops

How Self-Esteem Develops

It is reality that, your self-esteem affects your life and over all well-being. How self-esteem develops, and improves can be challenging for some people. But, still there are ways to improve it.

Self-esteem simply means how you feel about yourself or your opinion about yourself.

In other words it refers an individual overall sense of value or worth. According to Morris Rosenberg, it is simply an individual’s attitude toward oneself.

Also, Nathaniel Branden in his famous book Six Pillars of Self-Esteem defines self-esteem as, it is the disposition to experience oneself as competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and as worthy of happiness.

How is self-esteem formed? There are two components, first who you are, and second your experiences.

If you have positive experiences and relationships in life, it will contribute to positive self-esteem; on the other hand negative experience will cause negative self-esteem.

Broadly speaking there are two types of self-esteem such as, favourable, or unfavourable. In other words self-esteem can be high or low.

In literature, also positive and healthy terms are used for high and poor and negative terms are used for low self-esteem.

There are factors that influence self-esteem, which include;

-Personality traits

-Genetics

-Circumstances

-Opinion of others

-Comparison with others

-Life Experiences

-Health

The important point is self-esteem can be developed and improved with a conscious practice.

Why is Self-Esteem Important?

Importance of self-esteem can’t be avoided. It influences the choices and decisions you make in life.

It has profound consequences for every aspect of your existence, your workplace, family, children, parents, friends, other people, and the level of personal happiness you attain.

Healthy or high self-esteem correlates rationality, realism, independence, ability to change and challenges, flexibility, and cooperativeness.

People with high self-esteem are not afraid to discuss experiences, ideas, and opportunities. They see the world in realistic way, appreciate other people.

On the other hand, low or poor self-esteem correlates with irrationality, blindness to reality, seeing the world in unrealistic way, defensiveness, and hostility towards others.

People with low self-esteem are easily irritated, or angered, high sensitivity to others’ opinion, indecisiveness, and not taking risks.

If your self-esteem is high you will be more inclined to treat people with respect, goodwill, and fairness. It is one of the best predictors of personal happiness.

How to Develop Self-Esteem?

Positive self-esteem is highly recommended to keep you secure and motivated. It affects your life in many ways. It has impact on your decisions and choices that make an important part of your life.

Developing self-esteem is a life-long process begins in childhood and then goes on.

Also, it is a continual process and not a fixed one. The good thing is there are many ways you can increase and boost your positive self-esteem.

Once you achieve this then no one can stop you from becoming successful and extraordinary person.

Here, are the factors that contribute to Positive Self-esteem:

Positive Self-talk

Positive self-talk is the seed of positive self-esteem. It is true that everyone talks to oneself. Self-talk means your inner voice about yourself.

Positive self-talk creates positive self-esteem. For that you must talk to yourself in a positive way.

Positive self-talk increases your inner peace and that leads to high self-esteem. On the other hand, critical inner voice leads to low self-esteem.

Inner peace doesn’t mean you are unaware of realities and challenges, it merely means you accept yourself who you are.

You can replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. And in the same way, negative affirmations with positive affirmations.

Remember that the most important dialogue you have about self-esteem is with yourself.

Your Past Matters

Your bad past experiences can lead you to low self-esteem. You can’t change your past, but the only thing you can do is to learn from your past.

Many dwell in past and they become the captive of their past. The unresolved issues in past will still affect your life.

The positive thing you can do is to learn from your past, consider your bad experiences as lessons to heal the past.

If you find peace with your past, I believe it will contribute to high self-esteem.

Be Friend to Yourself

Being friend to yourself can help you to have high self-esteem. The reason is that, when you see yourself as a friend you will be honest to yourself.

Normally, we honest to our friends we give the best advice as friends. When you see yourself as a friend, you will be honest to yourself in giving any advice.

It will also help you to see your challenges and problems from other person’s perspective.

We are normally kind to the friends. In the same way you be kind to yourself, not too hard, and critical.

Explore Yourself

Exploring and knowing yourself is high important for high self-esteem. When you explore yourself then you can have high self-esteem.

Exploring means, when you explore your capabilities, strengths, weaknesses, skills, positive, and negative emotions.

Self-awareness makes you strong. When, you know your skills, and abilities that boost up your self-esteem, because you know how to cope with challenges and problems in life.

In the same way, if you unable to identify your competencies, abilities, skills, and strengths most probably you will experience low self-esteem.

The best way is to write your strengths and weaknesses that will make it easy to begin with a realistic conception of you.

Avoid Perfectionism

You will have to accept the reality that in the world no one is perfect. In societies it is very common that people search for perfectionism.

If, you try to be perfect will only lead to disappointment. And it will cause a low self-esteem.

You must acknowledge your accomplishments and mistakes. Appreciate your accomplishments and learn from mistakes will build and increase your self-esteem.

By avoiding perfectionism will help you to keep a positive look and also eliminate disappointments.

Don’t Compare Yourself with Others

Comparing yourself to others will lead you to low self-esteem and confidence.

Everyone is different and you are not the exception. You are different from other people in the world.

You have different capabilities, strengths, and skills. There is no question you compare yourself with other people.

The only person you should compare yourself to is you. You should focus on yourself. By focusing on yourself will make you confident and give you power.

In this way you can have high self-esteem.

Choose Positive Friends and People

If you want high self-esteem then you need good friends and people around.

You will have to avoid toxic friends. The friends and people who are around us have huge impact on our personalities.

Try to avoid friends and people who make you feel bad about yourself and drag you down.

Rather, choose the friends who give you strength and power. You make relationships with people who make you feel good about yourself.

Stop Considering Others’ Opinion

I think it is one of the most important factors that influence self-esteem. Opinion of other people can heavily influence your self-esteem.

Many people experience low self-esteem because they value the opinion of other people.

Try to avoid the toxic and negative opinions of people. You can consider it if it is positive and can help you for betterment.

To have high self-esteem you must filter the opinion of other people about you. Otherwise it can cause low self-esteem.

Your Physical Health

Your physical health is important like your mental health. When you physically fit and healthy it makes you feel good about yourself.

Exercise will help you for physical health and fitness. It empowers you physically and mentally.

People with low self-esteem often neglect physical health; they think that is not important.

Daily exercise can help you to boost up your self-esteem. There is a correlation between exercise and high self-esteem.

Face Challenges

Facing and coping with life’s challenges in a positive way can improve your self-esteem.

People with low self-esteem usually avoid challenges and difficult situations.

When you handle difficult situations and challenges, it will give you sense of accomplishment and will improve your self-esteem.

Your negative beliefs cause low self-esteem. When you challenge your negative beliefs and achieve something that improves your self-esteem.

Acceptance

How can accepting yourself improve your self-esteem? Self-acceptance has a relationship with self-esteem.

Accepting yourself means you accept yourself from all aspects. For example, your appearance, your face, physically etc.

Many people think they are not smart enough, not good looking all these perceptions cause low self-esteem.

When, you accept yourself then you become confident, and that cause positive self-esteem.

Final Thoughts

Self-esteem is an essential element for success, but cultivating it can be surprisingly tough.

Fortunately, there are ways as I mentioned above, you can build and increase self-esteem.

But remember as I mentioned before it is a continual and long process. It is not easy to go from low to high self-esteem overnight.

In order to achieve high self-esteem you will have to take small steps, because it is quite easy to take small steps.

Positive self-esteem is attainable. You are in control of your self-esteem, it is a fact.

By following these steps will help you develop the skills you need to experience healthy self-esteem and to be successful.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

How is self-esteem formed?

Self-esteem is formed of, your relationships and experiences, and who you are. Positive relationship will cause high self-esteem, and negative experiences and relationships will cause low self-esteem.

How do I build my self-esteem and confidence?

Self-esteem and self-confidence are almost correlated. When you have high self-esteem it can increase your confidence as well. You can develop self-esteem by following above described steps.

Where does self-esteem come from?

Self-esteem comes from within. There are external factors that influence self-esteem. But the most important factors are internal.

What causes low self-esteem?

There are a lot of factors that contribute to low self-esteem. For example, unsupported parents, negative self-talk, negative and toxic friends and people around, others’ opinion etc.