12 Rules for Life Book Summary

12 Rules for Life Book Summary

This is the book summary of 12 rules for life that is written by Jordan Peterson. These rules are practical and effective that can lead you to a happy and successful life. This is a definitive set of rules to make you different and extraordinary.

Jordan Peterson is a Canadian Professor, clinical psychologist and successful man. In his famous book he accumulates and elaborated 12 effective rules for life.

The author developed these rules, what he believes are for leading a fulfil and successful life.

I personally believe, if you read, understand and apply these rules in your life they can change your life.

In this article, I summarised these rules for you to read them in a short period of time.

Rule 1: Stand Up Straight with Your Shoulders Back

This is a very simple and effective rule for life. A right posture increases the level of confidence and self-esteem.

This rule refers to the biological point of view, and how our body language affects how other people perceive about us and how we feel about ourselves.

The author gives the example of Lobsters, because there are some similarities between them and human beings.

When Lobsters fight to capture a territory, if any Lobster wins then it shows itself much bigger than before. In its body the level of a chemical called Serotonin increases and in the body of the loser the level of serotonin decreases.

The Lobster that wins the most becomes a top one, because of the high level of confidence and a good posture and the loser Lobster comes at a low level and with a weak posture and physical appearance.

In the same way, this rule also works for human beings. Stand up straight with your shoulders back means an upright and confident posture.

If your physical position is not good then the people will treat you as loser like a lobster which loses the fight. On the other hand, if your posture is upright then people will treat you differently.

Your posture leads to high level of serotonin chemical that increases the confidence and self-esteem.

The author says; look for your inspiration to victorious lobster. Stand up straight with your shoulder back.

Rule 2: Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible For Helping

This rule if you understand and apply in life it can change your life. It simply means, you must treat yourself like you treat the people who are important for you the most.

According to the author, the most important thing is you before anything and anyone. As we look after everyone in family our parents, sisters, brothers, wife and children, in the same way we must take care of ourselves.

Caring about other people is not a bad thing, but you must be cautious about your health such as physical, mental and spiritual.

The author mentioned you are important to other people, as much as to yourself. You have to play an important role in the unfolding destiny of the world. You are, therefore morally obliged to take care of yourself.

You must be good to yourself the way you be good to someone you loved and valued.

Rule 3: Make Friends with the People Who Want the Best for You

You should choose the friends who want the best for you. If you surround yourself with the toxic friends, you will be average of those friends.

According to the author, friendship is a reciprocal arrangement. You should not choose the friends who make the world a worse place.

Rather, you should make friendship with people who want the things to be better, not worse.

He further says; it is not selfish to choose friends who are good for you. It is good to associate with the people whose lives would be improved if they saw your life improve.

Good friends will support and encourage you for your aim in life to achieve. But, on the other hand the toxic friends will do the opposite.

It is not easy to surround yourself with good healthy people. A good person is an ideal. It requires strength and courage to stand with such a person.

Rule 4: Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not To Who Someone Else Is Today

Comparison is the thief of happiness and internal peace. This is human nature that always compares oneself with someone else. That makes him/her uncomfortable and depress.

You must understand the fact and that is, you are unique, you are different from others, and you have different capabilities.

As the author says, there is always someone out there who makes you look incompetent, no matter how good you are.

We will never be the same in ability and outcome. So how it is possible to compare yourself with other person?

The only person you can compare yourself with is you. You should compare yourself with who you were yesterday. Not with someone else who is today.

If you make yourself better than what you were yesterday, it means you are on the right path. It is the best way to improve yourself and your life.

Rule 5: Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything That Makes You Dislike Them

This is a rule for parents. The author says, when I was writing this rule I was thinking the people will hate me for, how parents can dislike or hate their children.

He mentioned, you must know the parenting in an effective way. The parents should control their children in a way that they don’t do something that make parents dislike them.

The parents must teach children how to be disciplined in life. If they are not disciplined you will dislike them as well as they will be disliked by other people.

As parents you must teach your children to learn the rules of the society to become a responsible person. You teach them what is acceptable and what isn’t.

The children should learn the boundaries of behaviour. They must receive the correct feedback and if they receive incorrect or no feedback they will learn incorrect boundaries of behaviour.

If you don’t teach your children the rules, the society will badly reject and punish them. And that will severely hamper their happiness.

Rule 6: Set Your House in Perfect Order Before You Criticise the World

This rule is the need of our society. We start blaming other people, government and its policies. But, we don’t see ourselves and don’t try to become perfect because we are also part of the same society.

Many of us criticise the world, society and other people for their failures and misfortune. But, before criticising other people they must ask a question from themselves. Have they done everything they can possibly do to become successful?

Simply, this rule means you must organise yourself before criticising the world and other people.

You must take advantage of the opportunities available to you. To set yourself in a perfect order, you should stop doing the things which are wrong.

The author says; if you are not able to bring peace to your household, how dare you try to rule a city?

You should start focusing on yourself rather than blaming other people, world, or circumstances.

Rule 7: Pursue What Is Meaningful (Not What Is Expedient)

This rule means you must do what is important and meaningful to you, not what is easy and that gives you the result immediately.

We like to do the things which give us money and fame. But, you must follow the things which are meaningful.

The human mind is a meaning making machined as illustrated by Viktor Frankl in his book The Man’s Search for Meaning. The mind always searches for meaning behind what you do in your life.

When you start doing the things which are meaningful, it gives meaning to your life. It makes your life worth living.

In your life pay attention to the things which are important. Ask yourself the question, how can I make the world a better place?

The author says; meaning is the balance chaos of transformation and possibility and the discipline of pristine order.

Rule 8: Tell the Truth, or At least don’t lie

With the help of this rule we can make our society a better one. According to the author you should tell the truth or if you don’t then at least don’t lie.

Truth is the thing everyone wants to listen but very less number of people tells it. You must start from yourself. Say truth to yourself first and a person who says truth oneself can have courage to tell it to the world.

Truth makes you confident and courageous. It makes your destination clear and reduces anxiety.

The society flourishes when we tell the truth to each other. Telling truth brings the most habitable reality into being. It builds edifices that can stand thousand years.

Author says; truth reduces the awful complexity of a man to the simplicity of this world, so that you can become a partner rather than an enemy.

It is the ultimate, inexhaustible natural resource. It is the light in the darkness. So, see the truth, tell the truth.

Rule 9: Assume That the Person you are Listening To Might Know Something You Don’t

Effective listening can be helpful for learning something new. Human beings always learn by listening not by talking.

In this rule the author says, when you talk to someone you assume you don’t know and you might learn something from that person.

This is very important to apply in life. The reason is everyone wants to speak but very few people ready to listen carefully other people.

Conversation between persons can be a great source of knowledge and wisdom. Listening carefully and thoughtfully is the fundamental for learning and exchanging knowledge and information.

Author says, when you speak to someone then your wisdom is not consist of knowledge you already have, but it is a continual search for knowledge which is a highest form of wisdom.

So, when you speak to someone assume you don’t know anything but the other person might know more and better than you. When you assume this it gives you an opportunity to learn something new.

Rule 10: Be Precise In Your Speech

Your speech must be precise; when you speak you must be focused and clear. If there is no clarity you won’t be able to make a good argument.

In the world, the people who make effective arguments and stories they always win and lead a successful life.

This rule also helps to deal with complexities in life. When you precise, you define your problems and complexities in a specific way, you face the problems accurately.

Author says, say what you mean, and then act what you mean so you can find out what happens. Pay attention to your errors, note them. And then try to correct them. In this way you can protect yourself from tragedies in life.

It means you must be first, be precise yourself and then to the outer world. When you precise to yourself it determines the direction of your life, where exactly you want to go.

To leave a long lasting impression on people while you speak, you must be precise in your speech. So, in that way you will be an effective communicator.

Rule 11: Don’t Bother Children when they are Skateboarding

You must understand this rule what exactly it means. Many people try to stop the children when they play, because they think they might be hurt while playing the games.

But, the point is you must be bother when they do something dangerous. Where, there is possibility that they might hurt.

Sometimes, children play because they are curious about something. They want to push themselves to do something different.

They try to win from each other. They feel good and positive when they compete to other children.

This is good for children to push themselves for doing different things. It can make them creative and confident. And this is how they become better.

You should not stop children from doing something different, but rather you encourage them to become creative in life.

As author says, leave children alone, when they are skateboarding.

Rule 12: Pet a Cat When You Encounter One on the Street

This rule doesn’t mean you should pet a cat or dog when you see in the street, but it means you must appreciate nature and beauty.

You must realise small moments of happiness in life. While, you start realising happy moments it will make your life better and happy.

It is better to learn to be happy in small moments. If you want to live a happy life you will have to find small moments of happiness, not days, weeks, months or years.

It also means indulge you in little bits of goodness. If a cat or dog comes to you, just playing with it for a while will make you feel good.

There are sufferings and problems in life of everyone. To appreciate and celebrate little happiness can make a huge difference.

Final Thoughts

I believe this is a life changing book. These rules can change your life in a great way. The rules are very simple and practical. They are easy to learn and apply. But, the only thing you need a will power.